Why I Hate Seltzer

My friend Tim, in Atlanta, had this to say, by Instant Messenger, after the first time he viewed this site:

Tim: I hate seltzer
Barry: I plan to have a chapter on that
Barry: why?
Tim: just don’t like it
Tim: My mother lived on it
Tim: Years ago when I was in the supermarket business, I remember getting an incredible deal on a pallet of seltzer
Tim: local distributor, my parents asked if I could get them a deal… worked out to be something like $2 a case (6 pack cans)
Tim: so thats like 50 cents a 6 pack
Barry: and?
Tim: They had me buy a pallet of seltzer 100 cases
Tim: they had this huge stockpile of seltzer in the basement
Barry: please tell me this story is going someplace
Tim: Not really, how many people do you know that had 100 cases of seltzer in their basement
Tim: Seltzer is a tough topic — fizzles out
Barry: how long does it last in a store basement?
Tim: Not the store, in my parents basement
Barry: Oh!
Tim: I just worked in a store at the Time
Barry: So really, you are saying your hate is a Freudian thing?
Tim: Yes
Tim: so whats the thing about Seltzer…
Tim: Why a book about seltzer?
Tim: Couldn’t you have taken up Yoga instead?

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